ooo…oscar mayer’s deli creations shaved turkey and cheddar dijon…sure sounds fancy doesn’t it? actually i’ve had convention center sandwiches that would be considered the height of fine dining compared to this. everything’s soggy and/or limp and/or tasteless. go buy a loaf of bread, a packet of turkey, grab a slice of *american* cheese, and steal a packet of mayo and mustard from your local fast food joint. make your own damn sandwich. this gets a d- (it doesn’t get an f because it’s at least edible)

…and yes, i know i can’t blame this ridiculously obvious warning on oscar mayer. but it’s somehow fitting, considering the intelligence of the people who’ll actually eat this. blech.